Silent Running: Week 5 NFL Picks

Editor’s Note: well, if you’ve been following me on Twitter you probably already know that I’m currently suffering from what can only be described as an epic case of writer’s block; brought on in part by stress over my cat and at least in part by the fact that the United States might be literally melting down before our very eyes – just keeping track of all the leaks, revelations, lies and public statements made by both our government and politicians seeking to lead that government is quite seriously fucking exhausting right now, with virtually no end in sight. 

As you can imagine, this is a difficult situation for a corruption/politics/anti-imperialism blogger who specializes in heavily-sourced, long form essays; I’m tired, I’m frustrated and I’m genuinely wondering if the next President of the United States is actively trying to start World War III with Russia as we speak. In short, everything I want to write at the moment keeps coming out as “burn the whole system down” and random cursing. While I’m almost certain this effect is temporary; I’m also sick of staring at a blank page for this week’s football column after sincerely attempting to write it over six times.

As a result of all this, today’s post will once again be just the picks, for which I sincerely apologize; I’m going to go take a long hot shower, sleep for ten hours and start working on some very basic posts I’m sure I can finish in a reasonable amount of time. With any luck, everything will be back to normal after this weekend – in my experience, dealing with writer’s block is one part minimizing stress and one part solving a riddle; I’m pretty sure I’ll be alright if I can just rest up a bit and approach the problem from a different angle.

As always picks are made against the Pinnacle line at the time I write the column, our choice to win is listed first and home teams are printed in all caps. Please be reminded this website is not responsible in any way if you lose everything you own and end up begging for change by the freeway because you took gambling advice from a lunatic who happens to be a whopping THREE games over .500 so far this season.

 

* * * * *

 

VIKINGS (-6.5) over Texans

DOLPHINS (-3) over Titans

Patriots (-10) over BROWNS

NY Jets (+9) over STEELERS

RAVENS (-4) over Racial Slurs

Eagles (-3.5) over LIONS

Bears (+4.5) over COLTS

BRONCOS (-4) over Falcons

RAMS (+1) over Bills

RAIDERS (-3.5) over Chargers

COWBOYS (+2.5) over Bengals

NY Giants (+7) over PACKERS

PANTHERS (-4) over Buccaneers

 

PS: for those of you picking “just winners” as you’ve informed me on Twitter; the NY Jets and NY Giants picks are largely about point spread and I suspect the favored team will probably win the game but simply fail to cover. Also, the Bears game is a total toss-up in my mind; I have no clue who’s going to win and in that circumstance I usually just take the points.

 

Last Week: 10 – 5 – 0

2016 Season: 33 – 30 – 1

 

  • Nina Illingworth

 

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