Editor’s note: well, we’re rapidly crashing towards what will undoubtedly be the least fun New Year in my lifetime and I’m still up to my neck in moving chores with the clock running out before moving day; as a result I haven’t had nearly as much time to write for you folks as I’d hoped. It’s difficult to say exactly when this will improve; I will almost certainly have enough time to return to my normal writing schedule at some point in mid-January – but I’d much rather be writing than packing or unpacking, so I may well find time to post a few things between now and then.
In the meantime, swine emperor Trump keeps naming the absolute worst crackpots, bigots and greedy hyper-capitalists in America to his cabinet while the so-called Democrat “resistance” cries about “Fake News” they themselves create, praises the Central Intelligence Agency and attempts to drag us into a full-blown war with Russia. Despite numerous delays over the holidays, I’m still devoted to tracking the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants that Herr Donald is putting in charge of the country and today we’re looking at Elaine Chao; multi-millionaire, GOP fundraising guru and a woman who’s been described as “the ultimate insider” – and Trump’s revealing choice for Secretary of Transportation:
As with some of our previous Evil Mutants, there is a disturbing tendency in mainstream liberal circles to regard Chao as “the good kind of Republican” and indeed, her involvement with many ostensibly philanthropic interests has lead some wealthy Democrats to suggest she’ll be a stabilizing influence on Trump’s government. This is of course complete and utter fucking horseshit as both any lefty labor activist or grassroots conservative organizer will inform you the instant you whisper Chao’s name; Elaine is a shockingly incompetent, soulless, corporate parasite who spent roughly eight years deriding American workers as smelly, lazy and uncooperative – while her boss, George Bush, continued to ship US jobs oversees with trade policies worse than anything Bill Clinton ever imagined could even be possible.
She then of course followed her altogether underwhelming performance as Labor Secretary with another eight years crawling the inner workings of the Republican Party on behalf of her notably corrupt and also objectively fucking underwhelming husband; Mitch “the turtle” McConnell. In short, Chao is a swamp creature of the highest order who is rightfully hated on both the left and right sides of the American political spectrum – in fact, the only people that do seem to like her are soulless, shitheel centrists who think “being less racist than Jeff Sessions” and sitting on the board of Mike Bloomberg’s charity are more relevant to your professional qualifications than say, letting fourteen American miners die on your watch b/c your department couldn’t be fucking bothered to perform scheduled safety examinations.
Perhaps the most disturbing thing about Chao’s selection however is the way it grants us a tiny glimpse into the methodology behind Donald Trump’s seemingly mad cabinet selections. Although her appointment will likely serve to placate mainstream Republicans who may well be capable of impeaching Trump at any time; the reason he chose Chao is because her family is a “big deal” in the private shipping industry and therefore must, by the swine emperor’s twisted logic, know something about transportation. This is of course fucking absurd on it’s very face and it’s likely that appointing powerful insiders with direct ties to private industry will virtually guarantee that the US government will serve corporate interests ahead of the people – while providing ample opportunities for open corruption in those departments; whether that’s a feature or a bug in Trump’s government is largely irrelevant.
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- Nina Illingworth
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