Psst, hey you – yeah you, over there on your computer, huffing glue and masturbating to Kill La Kill screenshots; I wanna talk to you about something serious for a moment. As you may have already noticed, there are absolutely no advertisements whatsoever on the blog you’re reading right now; ninaillingworth.com.
This is because, I, just like you, absolutely detest internet advertising and I reject any financial model that says it’s worth it to put your readers through a Kafkaesque mental hellscape of want and stupidity for three goddamn cents or whatever. If that is the road to the future folks, you can kindly stop the bloody car and let me out before I choke you to death with the seatbelt strap and make my own escape. I run adblocker and I absolutely advise you to do the same – the Internet is fucking unusable without it damnit! This is of course, a roundabout way of telling you all that there will literally never be outside advertisements of any kind on this website.
Unfortunately, the harsh realities of our capitalist society require a certain, bare-minimum amount of cheddar on which to survive and produce independent journalism, works of fiction and essays. If you have some coins to spare for this worthy cause, please head on over to our Tip Jar page for multiple ways you can help support ninaillingworth.com financially.
“Nope – how can I help without spending any money?”
Fair, and frankly I’m glad you asked – I need you wild-eyed, shit-disturbers to help spread my work across the worldwide web to other dreamers, thinkers and readers in our community so we can grow ninaillingworth.com.
Below, you can find a list of places you can share ninaillingworth.com articles to help me get my writing out there and build up a regular readership – if you are so inclined that is:
Twitter.com – Twitter is currently where I do almost all of the promoting of my work and retweeting a link to an article is literally a one button operation (so even Republicans can handle it… I kid, I kid). Follow my account @NinaDontPlayMtG and feel free to liberally retweet the article links I post there.
Facebook.com – Copy-pasting a link to an ninaillingworth.com article onto your Facebook Wall or into a Status Update is another easy way you can help spread independent writing and help readers find my work. Remember, I swear like a son of a bitch though so you’ll want to include the #NFSW warning hash tag and then directly contact your Grandmother and beg her NOT to read the awful lunacy you’re linking to.
Reddit.com – One of the most helpful things you can do to further this website’s diabolical schemes is to share an ninaillingworth.com article on Reddit; the extremely popular media sharing site that actively frowns on writers and “journalist” types submitting their own goddamn work for reasons I am not nearly enough of a fucking hipster to understand. Naturally, you’ll need to make sure you share the article on the appropriate Sub-Reddit or you’ll be beaten with truncheons and down-voted into a perpetual cone of silence by dudebros who think owning an Arcade Fire album makes them “authentic.”
Tumblr.com – Are you part of the young, hip new wave of millennials using Tumblr as an all-in-one blogging center? Excellent – simply copy-paste the link to an ninaillingworth.com article into a Tumblr.com post and the magical Tumblr gnomes will automatically select a picture from the story for you and you can post the whole thing on your blog with once again, a single goddamn click. Help keep a sister safely indoors writing and away from sharp objects folks!
Other social media – Do you have an Instagram.com account? Do you use Google Plus, LinkedIn or Digg? You can share an article virtually anywhere you can copy-paste a link and ninaillingworth.com wants YOU to do so! Once again, be mindful of the setting and remember to include an appropriate warning that I swear like a drunken sailor in the middle of particularly rough sex.
Other Blogs & Websites – For this section folks, I need to get a little serious for a moment because getting one of my links posted on a popular blog with tons of traffic is one of the most helpful things you can do to spread the word about ninaillingworth.com; but it must be approached carefully and with the utmost respect, or you run the risk of making the people who run these sites very, very angry with you. In some of these communities, sharing a link to one of my articles in the comments section of another article or a community forum will be completely acceptable. In many of them however, it will not and thus I must always encourage you to ask a moderator if it’s okay so you don’t get kicked out and end up dying friendless on my account. Typically however, these blogs will do a daily or semi-regular “link dump” post of things their readers might be interested in that can be found recently on the intarwebz. Please, by all means feel free and even encouraged to share my articles with these content accumulators, whether through their Twitter accounts or on the forums – but once again please, I’m begging you warn them about the blue humor so as not to offend and don’t get angry if they choose not to share something I’ve written because it’ll piss off their sponsors. We live in a world ruled by money and blogging is a goddamn hard dollar, there’s no shame in wanting to eat.
Your Blogs and Communities – Do you have a shitty little blog with eighteen followers or a forum group of a couple dozen degenerate high school friends? Do you have an account on a mass-market blogging service like WordPress, Blogger or Medium? Do you know someone in a completely unrelated community that might enjoy the writing here on ninaillingworth.com? Great! Share my work with those poor bastards too because no matter how small your social circle is, I can assure you mine is smaller – because I’m a self-medicating lunatic with misanthropic tendencies! Every new reader you can introduce to my work is someone who wasn’t reading our website yesterday and at this stage in my so-called “career”, every single click counts my friends.
Okay folks, did you catch all that? Don’t worry drunk people, it’ll still be there tomorrow when you sober up. Now, the rest of you, go forth and spread the word about ninaillingworth.com with my blessings and thanks – you’ll be doing the world a great favor by keeping a criminally negligent miscreant like myself occupied and contained!
- Nina Illingworth