Like most of the terrible ideas in my life, the whole thing started over a few too many goddamn bourbons while shooting the shit with one of the poor, fundamentally ignorant wretches who are cursed enough to call me friend.
I’d just begun to explain to the horribly overwhelmed bastard that Hillary Clinton’s frequently-vaunted “thirty year” service record in government would look a lot better if the entire family wasn’t averaging a major goddamn financing, money laundering or obstruction of justice scandal every eighteen fucking months during that time – when he dropped the mutherfucking atom bomb:
“Come on, that’s all a bunch of Republican nonsense stirred up because they still hate Bill for getting his dick sucked isn’t it?”
As I slowly picked my jaw up off the floor, the true, existential goddamn horror of the situation finally hit me like a fucking transport truck – Hillary Clinton’s twenty plus year war against the truth, aided and abetted by an incompetent, if not outright complicit corporate media, had actually succeeded in convincing future generations that repeated evidence of her outright criminality was all a vast, right wing conspiracy over a mutherfucking blowjob in the Oval Office!
After beating my friend within an inch of his life while screaming “library cards are free you ignorant son of a bitch” at the top of my lungs, I decided that the only logical way to combat this problem was to create a central database of all the various Clinton scandals and force naysayers to actually read it. Unfortunately, a written article about all of the malfeasance tied to both Bill and Hillary Clinton would probably encompass well over fifty thousand words – a quantity of prose I am absolutely certainly nobody under the age of forty would bother to read.
Finally, it hit me – as an outrageously hip, middle aged woman, the best possible way for me to get younger readers to understand what a mendacious, secretive and outright corrupt person Hillary Clinton actually is, was through the awesome power of dank fucking memes. Therefore, I now present to you “The Clinton Scandal Meme” Project – a collection of terrifying images detailing each one of Bill and Hillary’s narrow escapes from the law so that viewers can make up their own minds about what is and what isn’t a vast right-wing conspiracy. Just click on one of the images below and you’ll be magically transported to a collection of Clinton Scandal memes separated chronologically and by whom the scandal involved. Frankly, I would have put them all on the same page but the Clintons have so many goddamn skeletons in their closet that trying to view them all at once would break most smartphones:
More Coming Soon…
Credits, Thanks and Salutations
Although I believe myself possessed of a strong memory, the simple truth is that there have been so many Clinton scandals that it is virtually impossible to remember all of them without the help of numerous additional sources. During the creation of these memes, I used a number of older articles from contemporary newspapers to confirm the facts; but without the links provided below I would not have been able to document the true size and scope of the Clinton’s criminality. Please feel free to click on any of the links below to explore the various Clinton scandals in more detail:
- Nina Illingworth