Editor’s Note: before we get started I’d just like to take a moment to offer my thanks to the literally hundreds of people who reached out to me this past weekend after the passing of my beloved, eighteen year old cat Ginger. I had originally intended to respond to each of you individually on social media, but as the condolences started to pile up; I began to realize responding to all of them was only going to make me more sad – please know that your words meant everything to me and my lack of reply was about my grief and only my grief.
Despite my ongoing sadness however, life does indeed go on as America hurls itself towards a level of insanity I personally have never witnessed in my entire life; a CIA turf war with the FBI over the 2016 election has spilled out into the open, mainstream media is hell bent on starting a war with Russia based on evidence notably thinner than the lies Bush told to get us into Iraq and the Democratic Party would rather organize a low-key Electoral College revolt than accept any responsibility for delivering us into this nightmare. As if all that weren’t bad enough however, President-elect Trump is also threatening to turn the entire country into a deregulated, feudalist nightmare for his rich friends and appointing a cabinet that puts the command bridge on the Death Star to fucking shame. In short, it’s bad – too bad for me to remain on the sidelines until after Christmas.
Unfortunately, I do still have to move early next month but over the next little while I hope to have a long-form essay discussing why Democrats are failing in the Rust Belt, a piece examining America’s objectively insane march to war with Russia, a couple of Wall of Shame updates for the “reporters” most heavily pushing this Russia narrative and a few more Trump cabinet info-memes for balance.
Today, I thought I’d start us off on a lighter note by inducting long-deserving Mother Jones editor Clara Jeffery on to our Wall of Shame after her recent stupefying but perhaps entirely predictable transformation into a McCarthyite propagandist who wouldn’t know what “ethics” meant without a fucking dictionary:
Crimes: actively promoting herself as a vital part of “the resistance” despite being more like a faux-woke soccer mom who’s got her tongue so far up the Democratic establishment’s ass she can taste Pepsodent, attempting to pass off an endless stream of retweets and statements like “so agree” and “read this” as a social media presence, running a magazine called Mother Jones while objectively hating homeless people, running a magazine called Mother Jones while objectively hating actual leftists, running a magazine called Mother Jones while objectively hating millennials, gleeful and vociferous hippie-punching, making me log out of Twitter to compile this list because she blocked me for calling out her attempts to smear actual leftists, representing almost everything that’s wrong with narcissistic privileged White Feminism in 2016, running a magazine named after a celebrated labor activist despite failing to pay at least one writer for his work, repeatedly fawning over nightmare neocon Republicans despite running a magazine named after a celebrated left wing labor activist, attempting to start a war with Russia by spreading CIA propaganda because she isn’t happy with the results of the 2016 election, attempting to start a war with Russia by spreading State Department propaganda because she isn’t happy with the results of the 2016 election, retweeting literally anyone who’s trying to start a war with Russia by spreading CIA & State Department propaganda because they aren’t happy with the results of the 2016 election, repeatedly using her 8 year old son as prop to voice her own political opinions by lying about the things the poor brat says on a semi-regular basis and thereby popularizing the “woke toddler” joke on Twitter, blaming Hillary Clinton’s 2016 election loss on sexism, blaming Hillary Clinton’s 2016 election loss on racism, blaming Hillary Clinton’s 2016 election loss on the real American left, blaming Hillary Clinton’s 2016 election loss on literally anyone or anything but Clinton, retweeting anyone who’s prepared to blame Hillary Clinton’s 2016 loss on anyone or anything but Clinton, stealing her hairstyle from the god fucking awful 1999 teen romantic comedy “She’s All That” and apparently refusing to change it for the last seventeen years, editing a purportedly left-wing magazine that referred to noted white nationalist Richard Spencer as “dapper” in a Twitter teaser, engaging in an ongoing online feud with writers at The Intercept despite being demonstrably inferior as a journalist to said writers in every single way imaginable, engaging in an ongoing online feud with writers at The Nation despite being demonstrably inferior as a journalist to said writers in every single way imaginable, accusing anyone who disagrees with her recent CIA prompted batshittery of supporting Vladimir Putin, secretly leading a splinter cell of Joan Walsh cultists dedicated to the violent ritual assassination of every single member of Chapo Trap House and Susan Sarandon – who she actively blames for the fall of the Clinton family’s Thirty-Year Reich.
Collaborator Rating: 9/10 – in many ways, Clara Jeffery is like a broke woman’s Joan Walsh; she brings all the same dishonesty, conspiratorial ravings and rigid adherence to neoliberal identity politics that purposely ignores class, but with a minuscule fraction of the media gravitas and overall intelligence displayed by Walsh. Despite her largely mediocre mind however, Jeffery still manages to rack up an impressive goddamn collaborator rating on sheer volume alone; like a lawn sprinkler hooked up to a septic tank – once Jeffrey starts firing off trash-fire tweets; it’s only a matter of time before everyone in the immediate area is covered in pure, unadulterated bullshit.
Bonus: while compiling the tweets for Clara Jeffery’s official Wall of Shame entry, I happened to discover that Clara is basically an undiscovered National fucking Treasure; if not a strategic American source of unintentional comedy that must be protected at all costs! After rifling through quite literally hundreds of Jeffery tweets that deserved their own shine someplace on the internet, I quickly realized that it would be utterly fucking impossible to properly capture the truth depth of her disconnect with reality in a mere Wall of Shame panel. A magnificent nonsensical creature like Clara deserves her own Gallery of Shame and thus I present to you three bonus panels that will appear only in this article and not on the Wall of Shame itself:
Woke Toddler Trauma:
Who Mother (Jones) Retweets:
– Nina Illingworth
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