Editor’s note: it has been said, by minds perhaps greater than my own, that “all work and no play make Homer something, something.” While I’m still not entirely sure what that means, I thought it might be nice to shift gears today and revisit one of my favorite hobbies – exposing sniveling, mark-assed, shill propagandists masquerading as the ostensibly “liberal” media. Yes my friends, it’s time for a new Wall of Shame update and today we’ll be looking at two folks who’ve probably deserved this “honor” for quite some time: Matty Yglesias and Joy-Ann Reid.
In the interests of full disclosure* I should mention that both of these upstanding, impartial media professionals have me blocked on Twitter for reasons that escape my memory but will undoubtedly become crystal clear by the time we’re finished this post. All information presented is publicly available and indeed, proudly touted by both Yglesias and Reid as part of their work in “journalism.” Additionally, none of these tweets have been edited in any way; although, they may not appear in chronological order as they are often grouped by topic – space permitting, I tried to leave the dates and time-stamps on the individual tweets wherever possible.
Finally, and I really do believe this should go without saying but here goes anyways; the purpose of these posts and indeed the Wall of Shame in general is to point out the obvious, mainstream media bias towards “the status quo” and certain politicians by grouping screenshots of the things they say on social media into one reference guide. We’re also looking to have a little fun here, so there are some jokes – this is not however an open call to harass anyone online for fuck’s sake:
Wanted: to play Doctor Eggman in a straight-to-video porno movie entitled “Sonic the Hedge Fund Cock”
Crimes: projecting false neutrality while openly shilling for Hillary Clinton, projecting false neutrality while openly shilling for imperialism, projecting false neutrality while openly mocking campaign finance reform, directly advocating telling lies for political purposes on Twitter, embodying the phrase boot-licking neoliberal colaborator, burning the offices of Initech Incorporated to the ground as part of a longstanding dispute over a Swingline stapler, repeatedly impersonating a journalist, repeatedly insulting actual journalists, message crafting for Hillary Clinton, retweeting other disingenuous hack bloggers who message craft for Hillary Clinton, assuming anyone ever thought he was even slightly fucking funny, seriously positing that the deaths of 161 abused factory workers in Bangladesh were basically okay because “it’s good that different people are able to make different choices on the risk/reward spectrum” – no really, willingly and even gleefully working for a neoliberal shit-weasel like Ezra Klein, pretending anyone who doesn’t like neoliberal economic policies simply doesn’t understand or appreciate neoliberal economic policies, objectively looking like a genetic experiment involving DNA from Jabba the Hutt and a common white egg, actively helping efforts to smear socialist blogger Matt Bruenig after he’d already been fired for (rightfully) calling noted Clinton minion/henchwoman Nera Tanden a scumbag, having all the personality of an IRS 8582 form, keeping a family of Puerto Rican migrants chained up in his basement mining Bitcoins because moral sacrifices are necessary to achieve peak economic performance.
Collaborator Rating: 9/10 – on one hand I’m tempted to give Matty my sympathies because he’s clearly a highly-functional sociopath who genuinely believes that some day the perfect mixture of neoliberal economic policies can solve most of the world’s problems. On the other hand, he’s also an insufferable douche who thinks wry sarcasm amounts to talking like an annoying extra from Reality Bites and he’s basically the poster boy for replacing real journalists with wonky, idiot bloggers in the mainstream media. Finally of course, those two tweets in support of Fight Song represent an actual hate crime against the human species. In summation, I sincerely hope Yglesias contracts a scorching case of herpes through divine intervention – because lord knows I don’t want to imagine Matty having sex.
Bonus: sharp-eyed Twitter user @404isnotfound noticed that I hadn’t gone far back enough to uncover what is (arguably) Matty Yglesias’s most majestic tweet to date – hat tip for the save:
Crimes: ridiculously goddamn obvious shilling for Hillary Clinton, openly supporting other “journalists” engaged in ridiculous goddamn obvious shilling for Hillary Clinton, continuing to dress like an extra from A Different World in 2016, seriously attempting to use the George W Bush administration as a barometer for what is and isn’t ethical behavior, message crafting for Hillary Clinton and the Democratic Party, openly lying for Hillary Clinton and the Democratic Party, repeatedly getting destroyed by Glenn Greenwald on Twitter, attempting and failing to discredit Wikileaks, blaming documents incriminating to the Democratic Party on nefarious Russian hackers, accusing anyone who mentions authenticated leaks of working for Vladimir Putin, risking World War Three to protect a corrupt presidential candidate and a corrupt political party, making Fox News right about liberal media, accusing anyone who criticizes the Democratic Party of being a racist, accusing anyone who criticizes Hillary Clinton of being a misogynist, exaggerating and spreading the myth of Bernie Bros, accusing anyone who questions the conflicts of interest involved in the Clinton Foundation of literally murdering AIDS victims, leaving the goddamn house in that shirt, actively working in the media to diffuse a pay for play scandal on behalf of the Clinton campaign, almost certainly masterminded the December 8th, 1980 assassination of Beatles legend John Lennon as part of a larger plot to punish white, socialist dudebros for minimizing gender dynamics in a multicultural but still fundamentally capitalist society.
Collaborator Rating: 10/10 – aww fuck it; I was going to try and be nice here but the who the fuck am I kidding? Joy-Ann Reid isn’t even a fucking journalist; she’s a vacuous, talking-head propagandist who has given herself over wholly to the Democratic Party – body, mind and soul. When Joy starts speaking, up becomes down, black is white and pigs can literally fucking fly if that’s what it takes to justify the latest round of absurd corruption, deception and malfeasance by the Obama (and soon to be Clinton) government. She habitually steals the language of the abused and powerless for no other purpose than supporting centrist, Democratic Party power and thereby debases and devalues important discussions about race, class and gender in our society. She is the literal embodiment of every single ignorant Fox News smear about liberal media you never believed could possibly be true; like a centrist William F Buckley in a dress, Reid says things on television too dishonest for even Ali Hassan al-Majid to repeat.
*Note: yes, I am aware there is a typo in this tweet and I used the wrong “they’re” – unfortunately Twitter won’t let me upload the image again to correct it; possibly because someone lurking in my mentions reported it for “doxing” despite the information being completely harmless and a matter of public record. It seems we all must endure our mistakes online and I shall somehow try to persevere in the wake of this great shame and embarrassment; the typo stays.
Looking for more glorious Wall of Shame action? Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered – just click on the image below to see the full Wall in all of it’s hideous splendor:
- Nina Illingworth
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