Wall of Shame: New Year’s Update Special
Editor’s Note: hello and Happy New Year! As regular readers know, one of the most popular features here on ninaillingworth.com is our constantly expanding Wall of Shame; a humorous, no holds barred look at the simpering pack of mendacious liars, shills and sycophants that pass for the American free press in what is now clearly, one of the most corrupt times in history.
Over the past few months of compiling tweets and writing updates; I’ve often been asked why I didn’t include numerous, objectively hilarious tweets by accomplished Wall of Shame “honorees” and in most cases, it’s simply because the tweet was published after I’d already written-up a given entry – with so many “worthy” but unrecognized nominees still roaming the wilds of Twitter; it’s awful hard to justify going back to get “better” bad tweets from people we’ve already enshrined.
In light of the above, and in no small way influenced by the consumption of copious quantities of alcohol; I thought it might be fun to compile a mass Wall of Shame update composed of one stunningly obtuse or dishonest tweet from each of our current, inducted Wall of Shamers – a sort of “where are these dipshits now” shout out to celebrate the New Year by counting coup on craven, chunder-headed collaborators; I even included some bonus links and an official, ninaillingworth.com suggested New Year’s resolution for each honoree:
Suggested New Year’s Resolutions:
Peter Daou should resolve to get his tongue surgically removed from Hillary Clinton’s asshole
Tom Watson should resolve to get his tongue surgically removed from Peter Daou’s asshole
Matty Yglesias should resolve to work on newer, better email server scandal jokes
Amanda Marcotte should resolve to take a correspondence course on “how to journalism“
Paul Krugman should resolve to hire someone to fix his shitty headlines and also to get taller
Jamelle Bouie should resolve either quit amateur photography, or “get fucking gud“
Jill Filipovic should resolve to buy some chihuahua repellent for personal safety purposes
Jonathan Chait should resolve to hire a ghostwriter to churn out boring books with banal titles
Jonathan Capehart should resolve to kill someone for a few extra inches… of column space
Kurt Eichenwald should resolve to stop snitching & stay 300 yards away from local schools
Michael Cohen should resolve to purchase a psychiatry degree from an online diploma mill
Clara Jeffery should resolve to develop a stronger bullshit detector & stop being such a goddamn mark
Sady Doyle should resolve to hire someone who won’t lie to her about her sloppy, lopsided man-bun
Josh “the Jackhammer” Marshall should resolve to purchase a goddamn mirror
Jamil Smith should resolve to Google the US legal code so he can learn what Treason is
Joy Anne Reid should resolve to hire an intern for the backbreaking task of blocking mean Tweeters
Joan Walsh should resolve to buy a Civics textbook that explains how the Electoral College works
Clay Travis should resolve to obtain better fire ants for the good of all humanity
Josh Barro should resolve to make better friends
Jason Whitlock should resolve to hire someone to actually make his fat ass go to the gym
Happy New Year everyone and as always media observers, remember to keep that shit extra real or you too might find yourself on the Wall of Shame.
- Nina Illingworth
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